No vuelvo atras

Didn't sing.  Wrote God during worship:  Following you, this plan, this call is too hard.

Sermon:  God's way is hard.  Persevere.  Are you willing to die to yourself?

My lips, unclean, fall silent.

Pastor:  What more can you be doing to serve God?

Reminders

Sometimes, God doesn't show up in bright shooting stars and you don't break down into tears. Sometimes, God just uses a quiet starry night to remind you that He's done those things before.

A Glass Half-Full

God gave me an image in church today. I see things as mostly half-full or half-empty, thinking that in order to overflow, I have to hold onto as much as I can and never let myself be empty or out of control. But really, it's when I'm upside down, when I die to myself, when I empty myself, that I am full, and everything runs over and through me from God. Like a pipe. Or sky-filled hands.

Communion

My friend Adriana was outside an Old Folks Home and there was a man on the ground, last night's pee reeking from his pants. He offered her a piece of old, pee-smelling bread, the one thing he had. They ate together.

My sister says...

"I am bad in it to see what God trying to give me and where i can be used it is very hard to see. I just mostly see what God didnt give me and what i want, but harder is to see what he already gave to me and what can i do with it."

Divine DJ Appointments

The last two weddings I've been to, one in Kansas, one in Vilnius, I've ended up as DJ. I think God heard my complaint that I don't like weddings, or perhaps was worried about leaving me to think too long, and decided to make me useful.

After we ran out of ways we knew how to dance, my sister and I made up new ones, and after we could dance no more, we sat down by the computer and sang worship songs together.

Catholic

A priest asked me if I wished my church was more like his.

I hesitated, knowing I'm not Catholic and why, and muttered something about wishing Orthodox and Catholic churches were more like this. He turned away sad and thoughtful.

With a few days thought, I knew the answer was yes. The youth group was leading worship, testimonies were shared over tea after services, and I as an outsider was welcomed in and put up front to sing. Lord give me eyes to see Your Church.